The Storyline For My Fantasy Genre Novel

To whet your appetites, the storyline (the short, one-sentence summary meant to capture my future agent’s interest) for my fantasy novel is:


In his relentless pursuit of magic and power, a deranged ruler collides with the person destined to destroy him.


It started out as the following line, but was waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too long (it’s supposed to be less than 20 words):


In a country where the practice of magic is punishable by death, where the land and the people who live there still bear the effects of hundred-year-old events, and where years of geographical separation have created division amongst the classes, the kidnapping of one gifted woman sets off a chain of events that has the power to destroy the nation – or to save it.


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